And it's done.
I fudged the deadline a bit and so am not feeling very good about myself at the moment. Especially since that meant
telling my advisor I had actually mailed it when in fact I was just planning to go to the post office in a couple of hours
not being totally upfront with my advisor, and I feel terrible about that.
And then my computer literally ate a paragraph - I'm still not sure how that happened - but I noticed it as I was doing all the nitpicky formatting on my bibliography and proofreading... I realized I had a footnote that just said,
Schmo, p. 45.
And I didn't have the footnote that said:
Joe Schmo, "This Thesis Sucks," Journal of Sleep Deprivation
1, no. 1: p. 101.
And since I was basing the bibliography on my first reference footnotes, I didn't have the bibliography entry that read:
Schmo, Joe. "This Thesis Sucks." Journal of Sleep Deprivation
1, no. 1: 100-1001.
Which made me wonder. What happened to the first level footnote? And wait a minute, what happened to the paragraph in which the first reference to Schmo's observations about the effects of too much caffiene on the human nervous system appeared? And why the hell does the Chic*go M*nual of Sty1e use commas in footnotes and periods in bibliographies, except as a way of testing the last nerves in people whose nerves are already shot to hell?
Um, Mr. Computer? Hello? That was an unusually good paragraph. I'd like it back.
I'd also like to retrieve and reconsider the moment when I triumphantly threw the draft, covered with corrections, which contained that paragraph into the fireplace, having entered all the corrections and pressed save. That's right, having PRESSED SAVE.
Because I'm not a total idiot.
Although if you saw me, at 10 pm, already having sent out an email announcing that I was DONE! and (here comes the lie part) it was in the mail, frantically pawing through the garbage can hoping to find a draft that I had not used as kindling, and wondering why oh why Pili had to eat tuna fish earlier this week because the smell of tuna fish makes me barf and even more so when it's in the garbage and a couple of days old...
You might very well have thought I was an idiot of the first order.
Reconstructing the paragraph took far longer than it should have. Making sure that nothing else had mysteriously disappeared from my paper took far longer than it should have. Formatting the bibliography and trying to figure out how to footnote various types of documents that are not mentioned in the %#*&%! Chic*go M*nual of Sty1e took far far longer than it should have.
And so I am SURE that the man who saw me, standing in front of the APC machine at the post office at 2 in the morning, trying to figure out how to NOT get something postmarked with a date that showed that it had in fact been mailed a day after the date that I SAID I HAD ALREADY MAILED IT... thought I was A TOTAL IDIOT.
And I am, in fact a total idiot, because when he told me that if you print your postage from your computer at home it won't show the date, I turned around with my express mail "stamp" that I had just purchased from the machine and went home to see if this was in fact possible.
For the record, it is not possible. And after I spent half an hour debating with myself about whether I should put $14.40 of .39 cent stamps on my express mail envelope instead of the APC thing that had the date on it... and then realized that it would still get postmarked with the WRONG date.
The post office is a pretty spooky place at 3am.
And this, my children, is why you should never tell a lie. Even when you think you are going to make it into a truth in a few short hours.
Please g-d, don't let this come back and bite me in the ass. Please.
I am a total idiot.
I am a liar.
I am done with my thesis.
It was a day and a half late.
I was not honest about this (except anonymously with the whole frickin' internet).
I am feeling pretty awful right now.
Sleep deprivation is not a pretty sight.
Big wordpress reveal, coming as soon as I get a few hours of sleep.
Oh, and did I mention that the day all of this crap went down was the day that Pili left the country to do research for three weeks?