Thursday, December 28, 2006

Letter from faraway

Pili writes: "I am in an internet cafe here in FARAWAY PLACE and the young lady that works here comes over to my screen while I"m looking at the pictures and says, 'Is that your child?' Wha! Imagine my delight to say - yes!!! What an amazing thing."

When I read this email a huge smile spread over my face. Imagining a stranger 8400 miles away from us knowing somehow - from the expression on her face perhaps? - that this chubby cheeked brown boy was connected to my fairskinned, fairhaired Pili. While I don't like the whole "born in my heart" phenomenon (come on folks, he was born in Guatemala, from some other woman's womb, and I don't intend to ignore or efface that) it's remarkable the connection I feel to this child I've not yet met.


hat3My mom sent down this little Hanukkah outfit for him to wear in his holiday pictures, but they still stuck the Santa hat on him. He doesn't look too pleased about it either. But I still want to smooch those chubby cheeks.
Eyes!This one is blurry, but I still love how deep and warm his eyes are in this picture. He looks like such a gentle soul to me.


I hope he will be our child. I am getting more and more forlorn about this whole DNA debacle. You know it's bad when you're jealous of people who have been stuck in PGN forever because at least they're in PGN. Even while I know that they want to get babies to families as fast as possible, I can't help wondering if there's something that our agency could be doing better...

This system sets you up to constantly second guess yourself and your own ethics. You hear about some people stuck in PGN for months and others getting out in days, and I find myself wondering... is it luck of the draw? Or are palms getting greased? And if palms are getting greased, would I object to a little grease on our behalf? Ugh, ugh, ugh.

14 Comments:

Blogger MileMasterSarah said...

What a sweetie! Ahhh, the joys of babies. They are so beautiful. My son was so stinkin' cute. Then came my daughter and I literally spent thousands on dresses and outfits she would later destroy, and grow out of as well. Ahhhhh. They are still cute now, but they talk back!

5:38 PM  
Blogger Andrea said...

Art-he's GORGEOUS!! If i can't see pictures of my Guatebaby, I am living vicariously through yours :) He's just gorgeous.

6:35 PM  
Blogger Minnesota Nice said...

Damn beta/google, whatever continues to put a wrench in my comment gears. But I so badly wanted to post this, that on the 8th time it let me sign in.
OMG Art, he is getting cuter by the minute. I too want to laden him with big slurpy kisses. He does not look happy in the goofy santa hat and I think g'ma's outfit would have done quite nicely on its own.
My best wishes for continued progress. May he be home with you and P soon.
Happy New Year!
Kathy

7:50 PM  
Blogger Shelli said...

OK - the whole - "heart" thing - I thought it was So tacky.

Until our most recent meeting with "Birth mama V" - we kept telling Malka that we were off to go see her tummy mommy, since we are her heart mommies. We LOVE telling Malka that she was born in our hearts.

SO cheesy, but SO true!

I can't WAIT for you to meet Guatababy!

9:12 PM  
Blogger Lyrehca said...

Guatababy gets cuter by the picture. Post more!

2:49 AM  
Blogger Rachel said...

Hopefully, soon soon!

8:05 AM  
Blogger julia said...

Oh, man. I just want to tickle him under the chin and go "Oooojiboojicoochieboochiecoo who's an ickle cutiepatootie?" I am one of those people I hate. :D

I hope you get out of limbo soon with this. The frustration and anxiety are evident in your posts. It makes me want to shake someone on your behalf, just to get things moving.

9:39 AM  
Blogger Erica said...

Wow - I got chills... It's all getting so real!

I can't wait until the ordeal is over and he is in your arms :-)

10:29 AM  
Blogger Corey said...

Just found your blog! I agree totally with your idea of greasing palms... I was adopting 2 from guatemala... One is home... the other is stuck in embassy investigation... Oh and where did you get the Hanukkah outfit? LOVE it!

10:39 AM  
Blogger erinberry said...

I love the pictures of your little boy!

10:55 AM  
Blogger Irshlas said...

Love the new pics. He's absolutely priceless.

I understand COMPLETELY what you mean about the system making your second guess everything - from your ethics to your sanity. We're currently in PGN - 4 weeks now. It's frustrating because we're always hurrying-up-to-wait. Each hurdle to wait to clear, then there's another, then another. There are days when I think I can be patient, then other days that I want to curl up in a ball and cry. Honestly, I try to avoid the nursery because it sends me into a horrible downward spiral.

Hopefully Sr. Barrios wil let me out soon. It will make more room for your file:-)

3:35 PM  
Blogger Co said...

He's adorable.

6:53 PM  
Blogger deanna said...

Hoping, hoping all goes speedily well!!!! He is pure adorababy. :)

8:33 AM  
Blogger Sue said...

I remember the fantasies during our wait for our first about going to India with a big bag-o-cash and paying for a speedy conclusion. Not that I had the cash, nor were the fantasies possible to execute even if I did. The fantasies were simply the way I grieved and coped with the long long wait.

The communication you have during the wait, with the ability to send gifts and see them in photos is so great. It really helps increase that feeling of connectedness. We had that very sporadically and those photos and videos mean a LOT to us, for life!

6:55 PM  

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