Miscarriage of justice

I hate it when bad crap happens to good people.

Please go give Bri some love.

Rorschach/Photo Friday (Early!)

First of all, what comes to mind when you see this tomato?





Please do share your thoughts. I will use them as the basis for your diagnosis.

So what does this have to do with Photo Friday?

The topic for Photo Friday this week is "politics." Post a photo which in some way showcases your politics. Funky tomatoes? Politics? Yes.

This tomato comes from our CSA. CSA stands for Community Supported Agriculture. We pay $400 in the Spring, and get beautiful boxes of locally grown organic produce all summer long. By doing so, we benefit - we eat delicious, fresh, healthy veggies and far more of them than we normally would - the farmer benefits by sharing some of his risk with us (if he gets screwed by weather or bugs, so do we) - and the earth benefits. No harmful fertilizers and pesticides being washed into our waterways, and no fossil fuels being used to truck our produce 3000 miles across the country.

These are my politics. Consume thoughtfully. If you're going to be a consumer - and oh boy am I ever one - try to create relationships through your consuming. My CSA has connected me with friends in my neighborhood. I hear the life story of my tomatoes in the newsletter that comes with my box. I treasure the rug I bought from a coworker's aunt 10 years ago. Minimize impact. Am I going to foreswear lettuce from California in the midst of a brutal northern winter? No. But during the summer, when lettuce and corn and all manner of fabulous fruits are being grown right around me - why should I buy lettuce that's been trucked from g-d only knows where?

The added benefit? I'd have to post a picture of me eating these tomatoes like apples, juice dripping down my chin, to convey how unbelievably rich and lush and tomatoey they taste. And the salad greens we get last two weeks in the fridge before they start to wilt.

I'll leave you with a recipe of sorts for my favorite summer treat:

Cut rounds of locally baked italian bread. Place at bottom of baking dish. Layer fresh heirloom tomatoes, fresh basil, and fresh mozzarella on top. Drizzle olive oil and balsamic vinegar over them. Sprinkle with sea salt and ground pepper. Repeat layers. Try to stop eating it.

In which I try not to be a stereotype and fail miserably

I really didn't intend that last post to be the blog equivalent of "does this dress make my butt look fat?" (mandatory answer: no, of course not) but I am delighted to hear from so many of you and to hear about what motivates you to read this. I've never been able to keep a diary, it bores me to tears. Which is perilessly close to saying "I bore me to tears." But this, this blogging thing - it's fun. And I am tickled pink that people like to read this, or at least that your mothers raised you with the manners and good sense to tell polite untruths. So thank you. Thank you very much.

The reason I haven't posted much about adoption related business lately is that there hasn't been anything much to write about. We faxed our documents to the little agency that could, and they promptly looked them over, and told us that even if my boss has known Pili for 2.5 years and thinks she is of good manners, honorable character and never goes to bed without brushing her teeth (she doesn't, it's one of many ways in which she is far better than I), the witness statement, notarized by the gnome in accounting, must be redone to read either two or three years, and renotarized by the gnome in accounting.

Braving the gnome in accounting again is big news for me, but not terribly exciting to write about. The Big Thing for which we still wait is the homestudy from her evilness, Mrs. Vaseline Teeth. She called last week after being absent for two weeks, and told us cheerily that she'd had a great vacation and promised it would be done by Friday. It's 4pm on monday and I have seen nary hair nor tail of said homestudy. She also didn't answer our question about the police report which was supposedly being mailed to her.

I think MVT prefers Pili to me. This makes sense. Pili is so much catching flies with honey. I am so much, for g-d's sake would you just do your $(#@# job already? Pili leaves discreet several day-long pauses between phone messages. I begin to pester people when they do not call me back after several days. In which pester means call them at least once a day and ask with barely veiled hatred, whether someone in their family has died? Because otherwise? There is No. Excuse. For not returning my phone call and if you are on vacation have the courtesy to say so on your out-going message.

I think in some ways, MVT responds to me and my decidely Big City South of Here ways in much the same way I respond to tail-gaters. If you and your gas guzzling substitute for viagara are riding my butt on the interstate when I am going 75, I am going to go 70. And then 65. And then 60. Until you and your Napoleon Complex that is single-handly destroying the ozone layer give up and move over a lane. And then I will be sorely tempted to follow you and return the favor in my peppy little tin can. But I will not, because I have gone to Driving School and I know that Road Rage is Bad. And also because you and your car truck named after the things it is destroying (Denali? Tundra? Yukon? Sequoia?) could smush me into so much art-sweet road jelly.

But I digress. Me nagging MVT does not work. So now I am nagging Pili to nag MVT. Because Pili drives a cute little subaru mandatory lesbian vehicle and would not run me over.

In which I once again ask for your opinion

Andrea recently wrote very eloquently (as she always does) about the awkward balancing act involved in having a blog with multiple audiences. Whenever I write, I'm aware that it's going to be read (hopefully) by people with a diverse group of interests. There's my diabetes friends - my TTC/infertility friends - my adopting friends - my queer family friends - a handful of in-real-life friends - not to mention the crazy people who have nothing easily describable in common with me but have stumbled across this blog and just like to read my writing, for some reason.

So whenever I have a few posts in a row that deal with one particular subject, be it diabetes, adoption, or politics, I worry that I'm going to lose some of the other "one issue voters."

Should I worry about this?

Do you just skip the posts that aren't relevant to you? Do you read them and maybe learn something new? Do you get bored and stop reading?

This is such a strange virtual world. I recently noticed that I seemed to have fallen off someone's blogroll, someone with whom I frequently exchange comments. Has she gotten sick of me? Was it an accident? Should I say something?

I'm pondering all this because I have another question I'd like to throw out to the diabetes community and yet I feel like lately I've been very diabetes focused here and I don't want my other blog-friends to dump me because I haven't had much to say related to queer-family-building of late. I promise there's news coming down the pike... That said:

Have you ever had to tell someone that they were diabetic? Maybe tested a friend's blood sugar, or a friend of a friend's blood sugar, and had the meter come back with a number that made you gasp? A number that would throw off the averages on your meter for weeks to come?

It's funny, because I used to fantasize about this when I was a kid. I would imagine testing my best friend's blood sugar, and finding out that she was diabetic too. Then not only would I have saved her life, but we would be best buddies who would take our shots together and understand each other more than ever.

Today, it happened. With someone I don't yet know well, but hope to have an ongoing friendship with. The significant other of a very good friend. And I didn't know what to say, what to do. We came up with reasons why the number might be wrong. Sugary fingers. Recently ate. Forgot to take his "pre-diabetic" pill. He didn't want to test again, and respecting the boundaries of my relationship with him, I didn't push it, just urged him to get to a doctor soon. Very soon. Possibly tomorrow. Could I should I have done more?

ETA: After consulting with some people who are actual medical professionals and don't just play one on the internet, my friend and his SO went to the ER last night and will go to a doctor to get on top of things today or tomorrow. I feel a little obligated, especially since said friend reads this blog (Hi honey! Love you both!) to step in and defend his sweetie from the stereotype of the neglectful T2 diabetic. which I hear peeking up a bit in the comments. Without having more of the details than I felt comfortable posting, I can totally understand why people went there. But while this was definitely a wake up call for him, in his defense, he had not aggressively been hitting snooze for the past ten years...

And P.S. - I still don't think insulin smells like band aids. Rubbing alcohol crossed with sweaty metal subway hand smell is the best I can come up with.

The scent of a diabetic

Those who know me well, know that I can spend a long time struggling to find the right word.

I just changed my reservoir, and realized that while I would know that distinctive insulin smell ANYWHERE, I can not think of words to describe it. So - no cheating - don't read other people's comments first - how would you describe that unique fragrance? You don't have to be a PWD to answer this - family members and health care folks (mermaid!) are welcome too!

P.S. Thanks for the resume suggestions!

More Advice Needed - edited for clarification

So, I have gotten a title change at the Workplace Most Dysfunctional(WMD - Hey, President Bush, I've found your WMDs!). Instead of being the Coordinator of Blah Blah, I am now the Manager of Blah Blah and Blech Blech. This is a good thing for my resume and for my chances of securing a job at a place which does not cause me to gnash my teeth and break out in spontaneous bursts of weeping when I make the mistake of reading my work email at home.

The problem is that I do not know how to indicate this on my resume and I need to send out some job letters ASAP.

My job responsibilites have not changed at all. I am still an underemployed peon whose superiors love to remind her of that fact (thus the spontaneous weeping from reading work email at home). But I am theoretically an underemployed peon who might be working full-time come January, and I suggested that that fact deserved a new title more representative of my many tasks and few responsibilities. My boss agreed. Other people needed to order new business cards. Business cards are cheaper if ordered in bunches. Thus, my title change happened now.

Do I:

1. List both positions on my resume seperately:

Workplace Most Dysfunctional, Manager of Blah and Blech, DATE -
BIG FAT BLANK SPACE

Workplace Most Dysfunctional, Coordinator of Blah Blah, DATE - DATE
TASKS

2. or put them in one description, giving the dates for each title:

Workplace Most Dysfunctional, Manager of Blah and Blech, DATE - PRESENT;Coordinator of Blah Blah, DATE - DATE
TASKS

I am leaning toward 2., but your suggestions are welcome. But if you know any identifying information about me or the WMD, please, please don't mention it.

ALSO, an update on the ETHICAL DILEMMAS:

I mentioned to L., the security guard that when I told Pili about her niece's wedding, Pili had asked what they were planning to do about the MA residence law. L. said, "Oh, Cape Cod is in MA? And shit, no, niece is not a MA resident." She was glad to know about the law and said she would check with her niece. The next day she told me that her niece was aware of the law, was just going to do her thing and see what happened, but that they were grateful for our concern.

And here's what I told the flakey intern:

Dear Flakey,

I wanted to check in with Good Job about their reference policy. As a reference, I can verify the dates you were there and what your responsibilities were.

Good Luck!

Art-Sweet

What would I do without you, oh fabulous bloggy friends?

Not a Black and White Issue

For a couple of days now I've been trying to figure out what it was that bugged me about this front page article in the New York Times. The headline is "Overcoming Adoption's Racial Barriers" and it focuses on white families adopting African-American children.

As I was scrubbing the coffee stains and cat hair off the stairs this morning, in preparation for house guest 2.0 (my much loved cousin and his adorable daughter, so I'm not really whining), I realized that this article seems to be suggesting that race is only about black and white. Interesting, because there are a whole lot of adult adoptees, mostly from Korea, who identify as trans-racial adoptees. Interesting, because I know that Guatebaby will be a transracial adoptee in our caucausian-jewish-with-a-big-dash-of-episcopalian family.

I also find that the article disturbingly seems to assume that "black baby" = "in foster care" even while focusing on families who adopted black infants not via the child welfare system. They write:

At the same time, some blacks view international adoptions by whites as a slight to black children in need of permanent and stable homes. “I can’t help but wonder why Angelina and Brad can’t adopt an African-American baby here with so many in need,” said Ishia Granger, 36, a black friend of Ms. Brockway. More than 45,000 black children were waiting to be adopted from foster care in 2004. There are no reliable national figures for private adoptions.

What do you think, my wise internet friends?

Ouch

Just five coincident facts that will have my pumpwearing pals wincing in sympathy:

1. Doorknob
2. 23" Tubing
3. Carrying hot coffee
4. Cute, ass-enhancing, relatively new (and now elegantly coffee-stained) jeans
5. Formerly off-white carpet

P.S. Is anyone else disturbed by word verification combinations that include the letter "Q" not followed by "U"? Or am I just unspeakably uptight?

Photo Friday: My Rack

Go away pervy people, it's my spice rack we're talking about here.

This one's dedicated to Cali. If you're not already familiar with Cali, she's the grande dame of Photo Friday and a spreader of much internet love. She could use a little love herself these days, so please go and give it to her. Thanks.

Our house is full of fun old house features, along with some old house quirks I won't go into right now. It has two laundry chutes going down to the basement, pull out drawers for flour and root vegetables, and this spice cabinet. Space starved New Yorkers, eat your hearts out right now. There are benefits to semi-metropolitan living.



When the doors are closed, the chaos is hidden.



On the left side live the spices. They are organized semi-alphabetically, in a fashion that makes sense to me, but would make my librarian friends weep with frustration. Lots of them are for Indian cooking. Note large container of turmeric and black mustard seeds.



On the right we have, from the bottom up: baking supplies & honey from last year's CSA, vinegars and oils (Perel Vinegars=Salad Crack), Big Box O' Emergen-C, random stuff, more vitamins (anyone need some prenatals? Sigh) and kitty glucosamine for the arthritic kitty.

Did I mention that when you close the door, you don't have to see any of the chaos? And that the shelves are shallow enough that the spices don't get lost in the back of the cupboard, but not too shallow for the chunky Morton's salt container?

From Serious to Snarky in One Short Post

This morning, Pili and I went to have our fingerprints taken at our friendly local office of the Department of Homeland Insecurity, Office of Citizenship and Immigration Diservice. As we sat in the drab waiting room, Pili chatted with the security guard. This is one of the basic differences between us. Native New Yorkers are rarely chatters, I've found. Friendly, helpful, yes. That whole rude New Yorker thing is b.s. in my oh so humble opinion. But chatty, no.

She asked why we were not allowed to have our cell phones on. Was it a security thing or was it a respect issue? Respect, said the guard. You wouldn't believe how fast people can talk in Spanish or Vietnamese, yabba jabba jabba. And they're so loud. It's really annoying.

I fully sympathize with their desire to have a cell phone free zone. But frankly, I'm more annoyed when I can understand people's conversations. I don't need to hear about your brother sleeping with your best friend and how BETRAYED you feel, or about the fact that your dog farted last night and your c-section incision is still kind of oozing and your husband doesn't care.

Then, as I was having my fingerprints done, one of the workers commented that the man she had just fingerprinted, from the Sudan, was really stinky (not that I could notice, he wasn't).

It seems to me, that if you're going to work in an environment where you have the privilege of dealing with people who actually want to become citizens of this country, people who bring a rich gift of diversity and culture to our country, you might want to have the slightest sense of appreciation for those diffwences. And that the fact that so many North-but-not-Canada-Americans don't appreciate other cultures is part of why so many people hate us right now.

And the fact that so many people hate us right now is why I will have to hunt down my doctor's letter and prescription labels and check my lipstick (sigh. I will not look glamourous as I descend from the plane to claim my bags) when I fly to D.C. on Saturday for a combination of work/fun travel. The security guards at our dinky airport take their job far more seriously than any TSA official in a city where terrorism is a real possibility and I look forward to a lovely girl on girl wanding experience this weekend.

Ciao bellas!

Quick E

I feel like all I ever do anymore is dash into blogger and breathlessly promise updates that never happen. This summer has been spinning by so fast I'm dizzy. I'm blogging from work b/c Pili's mom is in town, and I can't really disappear into the office at home for long stretches of time. For better or worse, she has not (knock wood) imploded from cat dander yet. That's a cheap shot and I should resist making it (but I didn't). She's not the easiest person in the world with whom to spend time, but in her own way I know that she loves us both greatly, and it means a lot for her to make the trip out here.

We went to Niagara Falls with Pili's mom on Monday, which accounts for my sudden disappearance from the blogosphere when a very special person was off having babies and shit. Welcome to the world Charlotte Jane! While we were in Niagara, we got to meet the fabulous Andrea and Frances. It's funny, because Andrea and I both just recently posted about blogging personas vs. real-life selves (although she was 100X more thoughtful and eloquent about it). But afterwards, Pili asked me how I thought Andrea's real life self compared to her blog self, and I said that I thought they were remarkably similar. Thoughtful, funny, kind, and very much in love with her Frances - who is quite possibly the Best Toddler Ever. Due to the presence of said PiliMom, who kept wandering off and making me feel like a frazzled cat herder, and said Frances (who didn't wander nearly as much) we didn't really get to Talk with a capitol T much, but I really enjoyed spending time with her.

I very much appreciate all your support on the adoption front. I know things will get done... and I know that I have a posse of folks out there who'd gladly knock their knuckles against those vaseline smeared teeth for me! Muchas gracias, mis amigas.

Now I'm Frustrated

Vaseline Teeth is on vacation for the next week or so.

She did not bother to return calls or emails asking when she might have a draft of the homestudy before she left.

I cannot wait to have the homestudy approved by our agency and get this woman OUT of my life.

If you don't have anything better to do (and obviously I don't) go cheer on Julia. She's in labor! And she has wireless internet in the hospital!

Actually, I do have something to do, I just don't want to do it.

I am at this moment supposed to be swabbing down the walls, so that my mother-out-law, who is highly allergic to cats - and who called us from the airport this morning to report that she forgot to bring her inhaler - will not die when she steps into our house tonight.

Swabbing down the walls, to remove cat dander. Ahoy Matey.

Diabetes? Why yes, I do have diabetes

Not that you'd know it from my blog posts of late. I have been slacking off a little with Smokey - going back to my old "eh, I think that's about half a cup" ways as opposed to my newly converted: "did you measure that? Are you trying to kill me? Why didn't you measure that?" zeal.

But I have one diabetes related victory to report. I am breaking with McClinic. This means leaving behind the world's nicest pump educator, but also hopefully leaving behind a track record of abysmal customer service and really, quite crappy care. When we moved here, I automatically went for McClinic, thinking that you don't get to be The Big Name in Diabetes Care for naught. But maybe you do.

In the three years that I've been there. I've seen three different doctors, two of whom were fellows. The third doctor bitched me out because she had never seen me before and why I was booked for a follow up appointment when she'd never seen me before?

I've seen two different nurse-educators, both of whom have left. I've had more prescriptions botched than I care to remember. I've had a pump-trainer-in-training I'd NEVER MET BEFORE call me back about my faxed in records and frantically ask me why I had suspended my pump three days ago - for about two seconds to cancel a bolus I realized was too large. I wound up explaining to her why one might suspend a pump momentarily and, to be honest, have not bothered sharing any records with them again. Why bother, when I seem to know more about my care then this supposedly world renowned diabetes chain?

Today, the camel's back broke. I called to reschedule my September appointment with Dr. Hello, Not My Fault Your Receptionist is Rude and Dumb, and was told the next available appointment wasn't until November. I then politely asked Rude and Dumb Receptionist whether it might not be a good idea to schedule me for a new patient appointment as Dr. HNMFYRD had reproved me last time for being unknown to her. "Well, I can't do that!" she sniffed. "You're not a new patient!"

Right. And now I'm not your patient anymore, period.

One of the fellows I saw previously at McClinic has opened up shop in the same office as my internist. I called to make an appointment - and got one for September - with an apology that they couldn't do anything sooner. "I know you said she's seen you before," the receptionist said, "but that was a while ago. I think we should schedule you for at least an hour consultation."

In my mailbox today

... Orphan Petition Fingerprint Referral Notice

Hooray!

Now all we need is the homestudy from Vaseline Teeth.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

Everything and Nothing

I apologize for leaving that worrisome headline up there for so long.

Nothing is wrong with the adoption, in fact things are rolling along fairly smoothly (so far). Pili and I had a spat about adoption related things and in a fit of immaturity I decided that the best way to communicate with her was to blog about it. When I came to my senses I realized talking to her was probably a better strategy. Shocking, I know.

I am in an ongoing state of adoptus frustratus just because I am a person who wants to Do Things. And right now all I can do is wait. Wait for the letter so we can go and get fingerprinted. Wait for Vaseline Teeth to write up the homestudy. Wait wait wait wait wait.

Fortunately I have been keeping myself entertained with various work-related soap operas (Dear Exec. Director: Asking the one African American staff member at our organization for suggestions for African-American board members in an all staff meeting does not convince me that you understand why board diversity is important) along with more pleasant endeavors. I got to meet the newly gravid Bri, Mikey & Sophia of Ewok Journeydom and Lo of the Family O. Much fun and food was had.

I am so intrigued by the differences and similarities between people's online personalities and inperson personalities. Bri seemed a little more gentle in person than her rapier online wit led me to expect... or perhaps it was the lack of caffiene and her newly delicate condition? Sophia was positively bubbly. A nice tall glass of seltzer our Sophia. (I drink about a gallon of the stuff a day, so this is decidely complimentary). She and Mikey are very cute together. And Lo was much quieter than I had expected, given that she wrangles seventh graders for a living! (Perhaps she just recharges all summer long?) I'm very curious to know what you all think. Was I what you expected? How is your online personality different from your real life personality?

Upcoming Updates: Some BlogLove, a Smokey Update, The Return of the Interview Meme (you thought I forgot! Anyone else want to be interviewed?), and the resolution of the Ethical Dilemmas.